Tintonic is a major motion picture depicting the tragedy of two star-crossed lovers (voiced by (insert names)). Director (insert name) chose to exclude most of the exposition and plot from the film, instead making the emotional death of the male protagonist the first and final scene of the movie. 

"I cri ever-tim" - The New Yorkshire Times 

"The death of Jack Potato is better than ones that die in my stomach" - The Derwent Post